The Perfect Comedy Skit

Rotary Man Rooter Service, Toledo Ohio

Plumber: See, there's a 4" drain pipe running from your house to your septic tank. So, you need to have a 4" clean-out pipe installed outside the house. Otherwise, you can only run a snake through the 1" pipe from your toilet or your shower, and that leaves 3 inches of uncleared pipe, which doesn't do the job.

Me: But, that's what you guys charged me $200 to do on Wednesday. If I needed a clean-out installed, why didn't they tell me then?

Plumber: I didn't make that decision, lady. I'm making this decision now; there's a right way to do this job and a wrong way. The right way is to install a clean-out. That's about $475.

Me: I really don't have another $500 to put into this right now. If going through the toilet wouldn't fix it, why did they do it? You're saying they charged me $200 to do it the wrong way?

Plumber: They were probably trying to do it on the cheap because you were shopping around. Were you shopping around for the cheapest price?

Me: No, I just called one company - you guys. Why wouldn't they have given me that option Wednesday, so I only had to spend $500 instead of $700?

Plumber: What's the difference? You don't have $500 anyway.

Me: Can I get a credit for a portion of the $200 towards the $475 job?

Plumber: I don't know about credits, lady. I'm sure they did what they could; they're good guys. We do good work. I apologize that the contractor who built your house didn't put in a clean-out. Do you want to schedule this job for Tuesday?

Me: Will you credit any of the $200 I've already spent, since they didn't give me this option Wednesday?

Plumber: Hey, I don't know why they did what they did. Everybody's free, white and over 18.

Me: Thank you for your time. Bye-bye.

I found the, "free, white and over 18" bit particulary hilarious. Who talks like that in 2011? To a customer??