Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I'm Clueless

**************************************Hmm. I sense the expectation of a romantic friendship brewing. It feels very strange and I don’t think I’m ready for it.
This hasn’t happened since Butch passed away. Don’t get me wrong; there have been come-ons. (For some reason, I expected these to stop after a certain age, weight and loss of eyesight. Apparently, it never ends. Guys just keep plugging along, angling for sex, regardless of THEIR age, weight and eyesight. I’ve heard some spiritualists claim that we get to “be present” at our own funeral, so I’m expecting to view the fondling of my corpse by a couple of old letches . . .)
There have also been a couple of guys who, I think, misunderstood my desire to remain close with Butch’s friends right after he died. Not everybody gets that. And a couple who contacted me WAY too early in the game; I didn’t even consider what they were thinking.
But, there hasn’t been a real expectation. From someone who knows how much losing Butch messed up my head. And is okay with it.
It’s much easier to deal with the ones who would screw an armadillo wearing a bikini . . .

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